T-minus Ten Days

Something happened when I hit week 38 of this pregnancy.

I’ve stopped wanting to go outside and drive somewhere.

I’ve started getting physically and emotionally overwhelmed at simple things: taking out the trash, making the bed, taking a shower.

I’ve started hibernating.

I have another OB visit this Thursday and an ultrasound that I’m dreading because it means I have to get dressed in public-viewing clothes and leave the house.

The husband looks at my belly with compassion, with words like, “Babe, your belly is huge.” I don’t take offense because it is! I don’t remember my pre-baby middle.

My days consist of the following:

I sleep as long as I can, especially if I have been up most of the night with insomnia. (If I really can’t sleep, I sneak out of bed, pour a glass of 2% milk, grab a Fiber One Bar (pumpkin flavor being my favorite), and binge watch a bit of Madam Secretary on Netflix.)

I feed the pets, who are really concerned that I’ve been in bed until almost noon. They act like they’ve been fasting for forty days.

I sit at the table and eat breakfast (usually cereal of some kind, perhaps yogurt, maybe an egg and some turkey bacon) and drink a cup of tea (while counting down the days until I can drink my coffee again).

Then, I come into the office and internet surf. Sometimes I write, like this morning oh wait it’s afternoon.

The rest of my day is unknown. I may take another nap. I may collect clothing for the wash. I may clean the bathroom. I may make the bed. But it’s never more than one or two of those things. If I’m really doing well, I think of dinner. Lunch is a series of random food items I scavenge from the kitchen (driving anywhere to grocery shop is no longer a viable option).

And then I wait. First, for the husband to come home from work. But most of all, I wait for the baby to come home from my uterine space.

November 18th felt very far away back in March. And I check the calendar today, and it still feels very far away.


A friend of mine sent this to me, and I think it’s very true.

waiting-for-this-baby-is-like-picking-up-someone-from-the-airport-but-you-dont-know-who-they-are-or-what-time-their-flight-comes-in--bed0c.png

It’s like being in a small waiting room. It’s cozy, and it’s decorated nicely, but I’ve been in here for nine months, and my name still hasn’t been called, and I still don’t know when it’s going to be time.

And then it will suddenly be time, won’t it?

 
0
Kudos
 
0
Kudos

Now read this

Sundays: Not Like Math

I want to respond to my latest post from September. So much for taking advantage of the winter break to work on writing. But other life concerns came about, ones that required focus. I start my new semester tomorrow. I will teach six... Continue →